Hi, web friends/readers.
I have been awful at neglecting you guys. Lots of changes happening (which I will fill you in) and therefore keeping me away from my blog.
I don't have a particular story for you today so I figured I'd just give you a peek on what's been going on with me.
For starters, I started a new job! After about 2 years at the previous hell hole I was offered a position 6 miles from home, total commute of 15 minutes with traffic! After sending an epic email to my boss regarding my "final thoughts" I flew outta there and gave myself a little vacay before the new job.
I was familiar with the new property, I knew it was a little rough but was ready for the challenge. So I thought. My first day as I'm touring the community with my new manager, SWAT team happened to be suiting up in the parking lot. Was that a red flag? Sure, but as we know, I don't really pay attention to those things. I didn't ask questions and we just steered clear of the team. Caught up in conversation we made the wrong turn in our golf cart and ended up riding past the building where SWAT had their guns drawn. I just kept thinking, "really?" "On my first day?" and, "I'm gonna be pissed if I get shot, I have plans tonight." I survived the first day, getting cussed out a few times by irate residents who happen to see me as a real easy target to go ham on (but looks can be deceiving, my friend). I returned the second day only to find the local police back again, this time due to a domestic dispute which ended up in some poor fool getting tazed trying to jump one of our fences.
After telling my boyfriend these instances over the next few days, he surprised me with a gift. He is just so thoughtful, I thought it was the sweetest thing to get me something because he knew I was struggling with my new endeavor. The "surprise" wasn't the type of gift I was expecting... it was a taser. A hot pink, 7 million-volt taser. To keep on me at all times. This might take the cake on being over-protective, but after a lesson on how to use/charge and not accidentally tase myself, I am armed and ready!
Luckily, I have not had to use it and hope I never have to. Although if I do, I hope someone gets it on video. And that it's not on a day where I overslept and didn't have time to do my hair.
In other news, I have started taking BJJ (Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu). I figured if my boyfriend is such a beast at it, surely I'll have the upper hand considering I can get lessons whenever I want. HA! Well if that wasn't so far from the reality of it. I want to get more experience under my belt (my white belt, that is) before blogging too much about it. I can say that I am learning a lot about myself in the process and just how competitive I really am, and how I handle pain (surprisingly well, until I get home). I still curl my hair before almost every class, I don't know if that will ever change. And I did get a pretty sweet GI, even if I don't do it justice.. yet.
I promise I'll brainstorm some new material for you, in the meantime I hope this will suffice.
-M
Aug 10, 2012
Jul 3, 2012
répondez, s'il vous plaît
In other words, the title of this post simply means, RSVP or, please reply. Although I don't know that I should include the word, "simply" because it seems like the task of replying to an invitation is quite the opposite.
An RSVP is to let the host/hostess know if you accept or decline the invitation. In fact, etiquette rules suggest that if you receive a formal, written invitation, you should respond that day. With Evite and Facebook Events being so commonly used, same day replies are not always necessary. Why feel obligated to respond? Well, this is why:
Let's get practical. Parties, gatherings, weddings, etc. all cost money. Obviously, the host would need to know how much food or drinks to provide to ensure there is enough for everyone, or to make sure not to go overboard. I mean, duh. More importantly, if I was nice enough to invite you to a shindig I'm throwing- have enough decency to reply to the invite!
This has been a frequent battle for me, people not sending their RSVP, or not caring enough to commit to their RSVP. Example, I decided to throw my boyfriend a surprise birthday party this year. I sent the Evite out three weeks in advance as to give adequate time for people to commit- or decline. What happened? I found myself reaching out to people I hadn't heard from. That should never happen! To make matters worse, some people I reached out to would tell me, "Yeah, I should be there." Well, you should doesn't mean you will. And in this case, should meant won't.
On the other hand, I had people RSVP right away and was ecstatic! Until, certain people bailed the day of, mere hours before the party and didn't even bother to tell me. They either sent a message through another party-goer or I just didn't hear anything, still expecting them. This was particularly frustrating because it was a surprise party. Meaning, if people were going to just be late, I needed to know, to stall the birthday boy. Or, if they weren't coming at all, I knew the show could go on.
Long story short, I spent money to accommodate those that did RSVP. So to the ones that RSVP'd and didn't show- you're real jerks. Yeah, you. And you owe me money.
Moral of the story- whether you accept or decline, we don't care as long as you let us know your decision!
By the way, we are still throwing our fight party, so if you plan on attending- RSVP to the invite!
Wow, I feel so much better.
An RSVP is to let the host/hostess know if you accept or decline the invitation. In fact, etiquette rules suggest that if you receive a formal, written invitation, you should respond that day. With Evite and Facebook Events being so commonly used, same day replies are not always necessary. Why feel obligated to respond? Well, this is why:
Let's get practical. Parties, gatherings, weddings, etc. all cost money. Obviously, the host would need to know how much food or drinks to provide to ensure there is enough for everyone, or to make sure not to go overboard. I mean, duh. More importantly, if I was nice enough to invite you to a shindig I'm throwing- have enough decency to reply to the invite!
This has been a frequent battle for me, people not sending their RSVP, or not caring enough to commit to their RSVP. Example, I decided to throw my boyfriend a surprise birthday party this year. I sent the Evite out three weeks in advance as to give adequate time for people to commit- or decline. What happened? I found myself reaching out to people I hadn't heard from. That should never happen! To make matters worse, some people I reached out to would tell me, "Yeah, I should be there." Well, you should doesn't mean you will. And in this case, should meant won't.
On the other hand, I had people RSVP right away and was ecstatic! Until, certain people bailed the day of, mere hours before the party and didn't even bother to tell me. They either sent a message through another party-goer or I just didn't hear anything, still expecting them. This was particularly frustrating because it was a surprise party. Meaning, if people were going to just be late, I needed to know, to stall the birthday boy. Or, if they weren't coming at all, I knew the show could go on.
Long story short, I spent money to accommodate those that did RSVP. So to the ones that RSVP'd and didn't show- you're real jerks. Yeah, you. And you owe me money.
Moral of the story- whether you accept or decline, we don't care as long as you let us know your decision!
By the way, we are still throwing our fight party, so if you plan on attending- RSVP to the invite!
Wow, I feel so much better.
Jun 1, 2012
White Girl Problems
This will probably be one of my longest blog posts, so you don't have to read the whole thing, although it would be nice of you. This idea came to me while having a convo with a co-worker who ended one of my sentences with, "white girl problems."
I attempted an at-home self tan and it was disastrous, I was super streaked and looked dirty. White girl problems.
I wanted to change my hair, so I decided to go platinum. Then I went swimming with my newly bleached hair and it turned green. $50 later on hair products and I'm still trying to fix the tone. White girl problems.
Being the only white girl in an online chat with some co-workers I referred to a collegue as being the HNIC (I typed it just like that, I didn't spell anything out). He told me I didn't know him like that. White girl problems.
I went to Six Flags and my boyfriend got a super nice tan, I got sunburned through my T-shirt. White girl problems.
I got a pair of sneakers and thought I was completely "swagged out" then it was brought to my attention you don't keep the stock laces in. White girl problems.
Being called Becky all night at a club with your black friends. White girl problems.
THEN, I stumbled across this blog post, "Stuff White People Like" and decided to add some commentary (and drastically shorten the list).
Picking Their Own Fruit- I can't really speak on this one personally, but I have to say, I don't really see many other races getting into that. In America, anyway.
Camping- I actually loathe camping and made a vow to never do it again. White people have it wrong.
Hating People That Wear Ed Hardy- Well that's because no one should ever wear it. Ever. That's so 2004.
Sea Salt- yep, my boyfriend just had me buy some.
Ugly Sweater Parties- I have never attended one, but I do only see pictures of white people that do that.
Black Music that Black People Don't Listen to Anymore- I think this mostly applies to older, white people. My boss is guilty of this. I.E. she busted out in "Love in the Mouth" the other day proud of herself. Blank stare.
Promising to Learn a New Language- I say I'm going to learn Spanish and Portuguese like, every month. It's true.
America- I mean, who doesn't love America?
Halloween- Halloween is my all-time FAVORITE holiday! I'll be a stereotype for Halloween, yo.
Hummus- Hummus is delicious.
Frisbee Sports- I don't do Frisbees. Bella doesn't either. I guess my black friends rubbed off on me in the outdoor sports department
Self Aware Hip Hop References- I don't really have a response to this one.
Children’s Games as Adults- OK The Game of Life will always be fun and I am reigning Checkers champ. Period.
Being Offended - Well, that's offensive.
Grammar- For the love of God, learn the difference between your and you're! Also, there's no X in "ask"
Scarves- I do have a lot of scarves..only wore one of them. Once.
Dinner Parties- I love to entertain. So there.
St. Patrick’s Day- an excuse to party and drink? White people are there. Even if we aren't Irish (not all white people are)
Bottles of Water - because water is important and why get it for free when you can buy a bottle that can give you cancer?
Threatening to Move to Canada - I have had this discussion with my grandmother. Shocker.
Oscar Parties - I say I'm going to have one every year. I'll admit it. No one really seems interested. I need more white friends
Being the only white person around- Well ya know, for some people this just comes naturally. AKA, I'm fine with being the token at most events
Expensive Sandwiches- I will pay $7 for a sandwich at Panera Bread, with an iced Green Tea, please.
Bicycles- you obviously haven't seen that episode of Family Hustle. TI and Tiny dropped 10k at a bicycle shop.
Toyota Prius- white people WHY must you love the Prius?
Lawyers- I feel like there's something oddly satisfying about threatening to call your attorney. If you actually have one.
Kitchen Gadgets- Does a Crock Pot count? Because I just got one and I have been rockin' dinner.
Dogs- I JUST LOVE DOGS! They are the best pet to have EVER!!
Sushi- Spicy Tuna, please. With a side of Edamame.
Apple Products- iPhone 5, where ARE you?
Vegan/Vegetarianism- sigh.. been there. Proud PETA member.
80s Night-I hate 80's parties and 80's music. But my white friends love all things 80's.
Wine- Sangria, Riesling, Pinor Noir, Pino Grigio, Cab Sav- yep.
Traveling- my most favorite thing to do.
Yoga- I suck at Yoga and personally, I hate it. But my white friends swear by it.
Having Black Friends- I do love having black friends, but not because they're black. And no one can ever call me a racist. bonus.
Tea- Grande Chai, please.
**Thanks to: http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.com/full-list-of-stuff-white-people-like/
And again to Mishella for the idea
I attempted an at-home self tan and it was disastrous, I was super streaked and looked dirty. White girl problems.
I wanted to change my hair, so I decided to go platinum. Then I went swimming with my newly bleached hair and it turned green. $50 later on hair products and I'm still trying to fix the tone. White girl problems.
Being the only white girl in an online chat with some co-workers I referred to a collegue as being the HNIC (I typed it just like that, I didn't spell anything out). He told me I didn't know him like that. White girl problems.
I went to Six Flags and my boyfriend got a super nice tan, I got sunburned through my T-shirt. White girl problems.
I got a pair of sneakers and thought I was completely "swagged out" then it was brought to my attention you don't keep the stock laces in. White girl problems.
Being called Becky all night at a club with your black friends. White girl problems.
THEN, I stumbled across this blog post, "Stuff White People Like" and decided to add some commentary (and drastically shorten the list).
Picking Their Own Fruit- I can't really speak on this one personally, but I have to say, I don't really see many other races getting into that. In America, anyway.
Camping- I actually loathe camping and made a vow to never do it again. White people have it wrong.
Hating People That Wear Ed Hardy- Well that's because no one should ever wear it. Ever. That's so 2004.
Sea Salt- yep, my boyfriend just had me buy some.
Ugly Sweater Parties- I have never attended one, but I do only see pictures of white people that do that.
Black Music that Black People Don't Listen to Anymore- I think this mostly applies to older, white people. My boss is guilty of this. I.E. she busted out in "Love in the Mouth" the other day proud of herself. Blank stare.
Promising to Learn a New Language- I say I'm going to learn Spanish and Portuguese like, every month. It's true.
America- I mean, who doesn't love America?
Halloween- Halloween is my all-time FAVORITE holiday! I'll be a stereotype for Halloween, yo.
Hummus- Hummus is delicious.
Frisbee Sports- I don't do Frisbees. Bella doesn't either. I guess my black friends rubbed off on me in the outdoor sports department
Self Aware Hip Hop References- I don't really have a response to this one.
Children’s Games as Adults- OK The Game of Life will always be fun and I am reigning Checkers champ. Period.
Being Offended - Well, that's offensive.
Grammar- For the love of God, learn the difference between your and you're! Also, there's no X in "ask"
Scarves- I do have a lot of scarves..only wore one of them. Once.
Dinner Parties- I love to entertain. So there.
St. Patrick’s Day- an excuse to party and drink? White people are there. Even if we aren't Irish (not all white people are)
Bottles of Water - because water is important and why get it for free when you can buy a bottle that can give you cancer?
Threatening to Move to Canada - I have had this discussion with my grandmother. Shocker.
Oscar Parties - I say I'm going to have one every year. I'll admit it. No one really seems interested. I need more white friends
Being the only white person around- Well ya know, for some people this just comes naturally. AKA, I'm fine with being the token at most events
Expensive Sandwiches- I will pay $7 for a sandwich at Panera Bread, with an iced Green Tea, please.
Bicycles- you obviously haven't seen that episode of Family Hustle. TI and Tiny dropped 10k at a bicycle shop.
Toyota Prius- white people WHY must you love the Prius?
Lawyers- I feel like there's something oddly satisfying about threatening to call your attorney. If you actually have one.
Kitchen Gadgets- Does a Crock Pot count? Because I just got one and I have been rockin' dinner.
Dogs- I JUST LOVE DOGS! They are the best pet to have EVER!!
Sushi- Spicy Tuna, please. With a side of Edamame.
Apple Products- iPhone 5, where ARE you?
Vegan/Vegetarianism- sigh.. been there. Proud PETA member.
80s Night-I hate 80's parties and 80's music. But my white friends love all things 80's.
Wine- Sangria, Riesling, Pinor Noir, Pino Grigio, Cab Sav- yep.
Traveling- my most favorite thing to do.
Yoga- I suck at Yoga and personally, I hate it. But my white friends swear by it.
Having Black Friends- I do love having black friends, but not because they're black. And no one can ever call me a racist. bonus.
Tea- Grande Chai, please.
**Thanks to: http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.com/full-list-of-stuff-white-people-like/
And again to Mishella for the idea
May 9, 2012
Pet Peeves
Honestly, I'm in a rather irritable mood today. I'm not sure if it's the weather or the result of not sleeping well or the fact that the English muffin I was looking oh so forward to was covered in mold. Whatever the case may be, I decided that my mood was a suitable one to blog about a few of my pet peeves. Let's jump right into it, shall we?
1. When People Insult My Food.
I'm not a picky eater. I used to be a pescetarian (which is a vegetarian that eats seafood), but I now eat chicken and occasionally turkey. I know, I suck. Anyway, I don't eat pork or beef and haven't in years. Because of that, I enjoy tofu as a substitute. The other day at work, Moe's catered for some pointless staff lunch (which took my hour away from that place) and I requested tofu for my plate (their tofu bowls are delish). My boss, who is actually infamous for this, makes this HUGE deal about it. "What does it taste like, why does it look like that" etc. I encouraged everyone to try it (mostly so they would stop asking me questions). As I'm finishing my boss comes up to me, mid-bite, with her nose turned up broadcasting how it tastes like cardboard and she doesn't know how anyone can eat that. I find that so rude! People, if someone around you is eating something that you normally wouldn't, just let them live their life! I'm not going in on you for eating baby pigs and Cows.. so don't knock my choices.
2. Loud Eaters
I know I've already touched on people that smack their food so I won't go into detail there, since it's self-explanatory. Don't do it. Also, please refrain from scraping your teeth on your fork! Isn't it painful? You've got to be taking off some enamel when doing that. You aren't in prison, you don't need to be in such a rush to eat..
3. Bahahaha
I just feel like, when I laugh, there are no hints of "B" in my chuckle. Therefore, I don't understand why people insist on typing, "bahahaha". You sound like a sheep!
4. HBD
In case you were wondering, "HBD" is the new Happy Birthday. Let me just say, whoever wishes me a "hbd" on facebook or via text, is no longer my friend. That is the laziest thing I have ever witnessed! ILY for I love you also applies. Abbreviations are just for a-holes.
5. Your/You're
For the love of God, please get it right! I don't know what it will take for people to understand this grammatical error. You're= you are. This is elementary!
6. Standing in Line
Standing in line is already annoying, but what about the people that stand practically on your heels? Do they think that it's going to get them closer to checking out? Or are they trying to see what I have in my hands? I don't understand, and it makes me paranoid. Back up!
7. Facebook Hijacking
There are many annoyances that go along with facebook, but I really don't love when people hijack a picture or status. Example: I post something and two other people start having a completely unrelated conversation. Which also leads to me getting a ton of notifications and my thunder has completely been stolen.
8. Wet Towels
I hate when wet bath towels are left on the floor. Then the carpet is wet and the towel usually mildewed. There is nothing worse then a mildewed bath towel!
9. Summer Shoes with Winter Feet
Ladies and gents- if you're busting out flip flops or sandals, please make sure your feet are appropriately groomed for this attire.
10. Inconsiderate Drivers
If you have been waiting for someone to let you out or to let you over for what seems like days, and I take the liberty of doing a good deed for you, wave and thank me! It takes two seconds and if it wasn't for me you'd still be stuck wherever you were, becoming that much later for wherever you have to be so show some gratitude!
OK, I think that about sums it up for now and has surprisingly helped my mood. There will most definitely be a part II for this, but for now, have a great day and remember to thank your fellow commuters.
1. When People Insult My Food.
I'm not a picky eater. I used to be a pescetarian (which is a vegetarian that eats seafood), but I now eat chicken and occasionally turkey. I know, I suck. Anyway, I don't eat pork or beef and haven't in years. Because of that, I enjoy tofu as a substitute. The other day at work, Moe's catered for some pointless staff lunch (which took my hour away from that place) and I requested tofu for my plate (their tofu bowls are delish). My boss, who is actually infamous for this, makes this HUGE deal about it. "What does it taste like, why does it look like that" etc. I encouraged everyone to try it (mostly so they would stop asking me questions). As I'm finishing my boss comes up to me, mid-bite, with her nose turned up broadcasting how it tastes like cardboard and she doesn't know how anyone can eat that. I find that so rude! People, if someone around you is eating something that you normally wouldn't, just let them live their life! I'm not going in on you for eating baby pigs and Cows.. so don't knock my choices.
2. Loud Eaters
I know I've already touched on people that smack their food so I won't go into detail there, since it's self-explanatory. Don't do it. Also, please refrain from scraping your teeth on your fork! Isn't it painful? You've got to be taking off some enamel when doing that. You aren't in prison, you don't need to be in such a rush to eat..
3. Bahahaha
I just feel like, when I laugh, there are no hints of "B" in my chuckle. Therefore, I don't understand why people insist on typing, "bahahaha". You sound like a sheep!
4. HBD
In case you were wondering, "HBD" is the new Happy Birthday. Let me just say, whoever wishes me a "hbd" on facebook or via text, is no longer my friend. That is the laziest thing I have ever witnessed! ILY for I love you also applies. Abbreviations are just for a-holes.
5. Your/You're
For the love of God, please get it right! I don't know what it will take for people to understand this grammatical error. You're= you are. This is elementary!
6. Standing in Line
Standing in line is already annoying, but what about the people that stand practically on your heels? Do they think that it's going to get them closer to checking out? Or are they trying to see what I have in my hands? I don't understand, and it makes me paranoid. Back up!
7. Facebook Hijacking
There are many annoyances that go along with facebook, but I really don't love when people hijack a picture or status. Example: I post something and two other people start having a completely unrelated conversation. Which also leads to me getting a ton of notifications and my thunder has completely been stolen.
8. Wet Towels
I hate when wet bath towels are left on the floor. Then the carpet is wet and the towel usually mildewed. There is nothing worse then a mildewed bath towel!
9. Summer Shoes with Winter Feet
Ladies and gents- if you're busting out flip flops or sandals, please make sure your feet are appropriately groomed for this attire.
10. Inconsiderate Drivers
If you have been waiting for someone to let you out or to let you over for what seems like days, and I take the liberty of doing a good deed for you, wave and thank me! It takes two seconds and if it wasn't for me you'd still be stuck wherever you were, becoming that much later for wherever you have to be so show some gratitude!
OK, I think that about sums it up for now and has surprisingly helped my mood. There will most definitely be a part II for this, but for now, have a great day and remember to thank your fellow commuters.
Apr 16, 2012
Angels
I know I usually try to post funny/embarrassing stories but today I'm switching gears. I want to share an experience that happened to me recently and open up a bit to all you loyal readers.
As most of you know, I lost my dad to cancer October 2008. Although this year will mark 4 years, it still seems as if it happened yesterday. If you've ever lost someone close to you, you know that nothing can prepare you for the emotions and heartache that accompanies it. Even if you knew it was coming. We knew that my dad's time was limited, but even then, more time was initially predicted. My dad was adamant about not having a sad memorial service. He said he wanted it to be a party. He wanted everyone in the immediate family to pick a song for the memorial to accompany the song he chose, Lynyrd Skynyrd's "Free Bird" -which is now one of my favorite songs, because it connects me to him, even if it's bittersweet and is difficult to not get emotional when I hear it.
I still struggle with the loss of my dad on a regular basis, and miss him everyday. I still hope for signs from him, I still talk to him. I still have his number in my cell phone. I still replay conversations in my head. I wonder what would be different if he were still here. I think about all the important milestones in my life he will miss. I still get jealous that my sister had him to walk her down the aisle, and that he got to meet her first born knowing I'll never have that. I still get angry sometimes and wonder how any of this was fair. I also know that God has a plan, even when we don't understand it and that everything happens for a reason.
Losing my dad caused me to handle a lot of things the wrong way. I didn't know how to "grieve" and I don't think I wanted to, so I chose to distract myself. I put 150% into a relationship that wasn't healthy and lost myself in that process. No matter how that relationship ended, I will always be thankful that he was there for me, when he didn't have to be, as I went through the hardest thing I have ever gone through (thus far). One of the reasons that relationship lasted longer than it should have was because I knew that he would always be the last boyfriend to meet my dad. That was important to me and I held on to it for entirely too long.
As I entered a new relationship (hi, love), one of the things that was constantly in the back of my mind was how my dad would like him. Although I knew my dad would love him, mostly because he makes me happy, I still wondered what their encounter would be like. Would they understand each other's humor? Would they have a lot in common? Would my dad approve? I came to terms with the fact I would never know the answers to those questions and decided to follow my heart with the feeling that my dad would approve and be happy for me.
My boyfriend Chazz is a mixed martial arts fighter (that's an entirely different blog post in itself) and if you don't know anyone that does the sport, then I can't really explain or describe what all is involved. Let's just say that when fight week rolls around, things get stressful. Fight week is typically when Chazz is cutting weight (which could basically mean starving/dehydrating yourself to make sure you weigh in at your fight weight, which is typically anywhere from 5-25 pounds from your walk around weight depending on the weight class you're fighting in) which is not a fun process. People tend to get irritable when they don't eat in case you didn't know. And because I'm such a supportive/awesome girlfriend- I cut weight with him. Meaning, if he can't eat, I don't. If he has to run the neighborhood in his sauna suit, I suit up in sweats and hit the pavement with him. If he has to sit in a car with the heat on in 70 degree weather- I'm in the passenger seat (thankfully that was only one time). If he doesn't have anyone to spar with, we move the cars out of the garage, I put on my pink boxing gloves and his hideous headgear and try my best to keep up. When he can't drive to weigh ins the day before due to dehydration, I arrange my schedule and get him there (even when they are in Athens or Alabama). I admire his dedication so I make a point to not only say I support him, but show him by being by his side during the entire process. However, being human, the stress weighs heavily on me as well, which causes us to have a short fuse with each other and be a little more... snappy than usual. Then it's fight time, and everything that goes into that moment is all worth it.
Chazz's first fight was in Athens (won in the first round-no big deal). Athens obviously wasn't ideal, because it wasn't exactly close (and it's home of UGA which disgusts me since I'm a GATOR), but anything UGA/Bulldawgs/Athens, etc will always remind me of my dad. My dad was the biggest, most obnoxious GA fan that ever lived, no joke. The moment Chazz and I hit downtown Athens (which was by accident I think) "Free Bird" came on the radio. Call me crazy, but the odds of that song coming on at that moment in downtown Athens could only mean one thing- my dad was there. I carried that feeling throughout the weekend and like to think he was with Chazz during his fight.
That kind of sign has never happened to me before. Fast forward to this past weekend, Chazz had a fight in Tuscaloosa. This time, I would be in his corner. I was a nervous wreck. I'm always nervous before, I mean, some other guy is getting in a cage with my boyfriend with the intention to physically harm him and anything can happen. I was trying to keep my nerves under control to be encouraging and calm for him as he warmed up/prepared for his fight. We arrived at the venue with the other fighters around 4:30pm anticipating the start time of 7:00. As 7:00 grew closer, the DJ started playing music to get the crowd going and get ready for the first fight of the night. Suddenly, there was a huge change in the dub step music as Lynyrd Skynyrd's "Free Bird" randomly came over the speaker system. My body froze in disbelief almost thinking I was hearing things then I heard a nearby fighter say, "wow, they're playing Lynyrd Skynyrd." Then it was turned off, almost as if it was played by mistake.
I looked at Chazz in shock and this overwhelming calm came over me. I no longer felt like I was going to vomit from nerves and my uncontrollable shaking seemed to cease. My dad was there. And he was telling me everything was ok. I couldn't understand why I was getting these signs only at Chazz's fights. There have been so many times when I was having a hard day or needed his advice and nada. Then it made sense. My dad knows his approval is important and he wants me to know he supports me. Even better, he supports Chazz. Call me crazy, but I just think it's too much of a coincidence so I'm gonna rock with it.
I love you, dad. I miss you everyday, but I know that you are with me more than I realize.
As most of you know, I lost my dad to cancer October 2008. Although this year will mark 4 years, it still seems as if it happened yesterday. If you've ever lost someone close to you, you know that nothing can prepare you for the emotions and heartache that accompanies it. Even if you knew it was coming. We knew that my dad's time was limited, but even then, more time was initially predicted. My dad was adamant about not having a sad memorial service. He said he wanted it to be a party. He wanted everyone in the immediate family to pick a song for the memorial to accompany the song he chose, Lynyrd Skynyrd's "Free Bird" -which is now one of my favorite songs, because it connects me to him, even if it's bittersweet and is difficult to not get emotional when I hear it.
I still struggle with the loss of my dad on a regular basis, and miss him everyday. I still hope for signs from him, I still talk to him. I still have his number in my cell phone. I still replay conversations in my head. I wonder what would be different if he were still here. I think about all the important milestones in my life he will miss. I still get jealous that my sister had him to walk her down the aisle, and that he got to meet her first born knowing I'll never have that. I still get angry sometimes and wonder how any of this was fair. I also know that God has a plan, even when we don't understand it and that everything happens for a reason.
Losing my dad caused me to handle a lot of things the wrong way. I didn't know how to "grieve" and I don't think I wanted to, so I chose to distract myself. I put 150% into a relationship that wasn't healthy and lost myself in that process. No matter how that relationship ended, I will always be thankful that he was there for me, when he didn't have to be, as I went through the hardest thing I have ever gone through (thus far). One of the reasons that relationship lasted longer than it should have was because I knew that he would always be the last boyfriend to meet my dad. That was important to me and I held on to it for entirely too long.
As I entered a new relationship (hi, love), one of the things that was constantly in the back of my mind was how my dad would like him. Although I knew my dad would love him, mostly because he makes me happy, I still wondered what their encounter would be like. Would they understand each other's humor? Would they have a lot in common? Would my dad approve? I came to terms with the fact I would never know the answers to those questions and decided to follow my heart with the feeling that my dad would approve and be happy for me.
My boyfriend Chazz is a mixed martial arts fighter (that's an entirely different blog post in itself) and if you don't know anyone that does the sport, then I can't really explain or describe what all is involved. Let's just say that when fight week rolls around, things get stressful. Fight week is typically when Chazz is cutting weight (which could basically mean starving/dehydrating yourself to make sure you weigh in at your fight weight, which is typically anywhere from 5-25 pounds from your walk around weight depending on the weight class you're fighting in) which is not a fun process. People tend to get irritable when they don't eat in case you didn't know. And because I'm such a supportive/awesome girlfriend- I cut weight with him. Meaning, if he can't eat, I don't. If he has to run the neighborhood in his sauna suit, I suit up in sweats and hit the pavement with him. If he has to sit in a car with the heat on in 70 degree weather- I'm in the passenger seat (thankfully that was only one time). If he doesn't have anyone to spar with, we move the cars out of the garage, I put on my pink boxing gloves and his hideous headgear and try my best to keep up. When he can't drive to weigh ins the day before due to dehydration, I arrange my schedule and get him there (even when they are in Athens or Alabama). I admire his dedication so I make a point to not only say I support him, but show him by being by his side during the entire process. However, being human, the stress weighs heavily on me as well, which causes us to have a short fuse with each other and be a little more... snappy than usual. Then it's fight time, and everything that goes into that moment is all worth it.
Chazz's first fight was in Athens (won in the first round-no big deal). Athens obviously wasn't ideal, because it wasn't exactly close (and it's home of UGA which disgusts me since I'm a GATOR), but anything UGA/Bulldawgs/Athens, etc will always remind me of my dad. My dad was the biggest, most obnoxious GA fan that ever lived, no joke. The moment Chazz and I hit downtown Athens (which was by accident I think) "Free Bird" came on the radio. Call me crazy, but the odds of that song coming on at that moment in downtown Athens could only mean one thing- my dad was there. I carried that feeling throughout the weekend and like to think he was with Chazz during his fight.
That kind of sign has never happened to me before. Fast forward to this past weekend, Chazz had a fight in Tuscaloosa. This time, I would be in his corner. I was a nervous wreck. I'm always nervous before, I mean, some other guy is getting in a cage with my boyfriend with the intention to physically harm him and anything can happen. I was trying to keep my nerves under control to be encouraging and calm for him as he warmed up/prepared for his fight. We arrived at the venue with the other fighters around 4:30pm anticipating the start time of 7:00. As 7:00 grew closer, the DJ started playing music to get the crowd going and get ready for the first fight of the night. Suddenly, there was a huge change in the dub step music as Lynyrd Skynyrd's "Free Bird" randomly came over the speaker system. My body froze in disbelief almost thinking I was hearing things then I heard a nearby fighter say, "wow, they're playing Lynyrd Skynyrd." Then it was turned off, almost as if it was played by mistake.
I looked at Chazz in shock and this overwhelming calm came over me. I no longer felt like I was going to vomit from nerves and my uncontrollable shaking seemed to cease. My dad was there. And he was telling me everything was ok. I couldn't understand why I was getting these signs only at Chazz's fights. There have been so many times when I was having a hard day or needed his advice and nada. Then it made sense. My dad knows his approval is important and he wants me to know he supports me. Even better, he supports Chazz. Call me crazy, but I just think it's too much of a coincidence so I'm gonna rock with it.
I love you, dad. I miss you everyday, but I know that you are with me more than I realize.
Apr 3, 2012
Here's Your Hat...
One of the worst things that can happen is to have a guest over that won't leave. At least for me because I'm too nice and will say just about anything but, "you gotta go."
I have always struggled with this scenario, being socially awkward I never knew how to politely and effectively end my guest's visit. What I would normally do is start yawning uncontrollably (if it's late) which would be a pretty clear indicator that I am tired, and one should leave. If that didn't work, which has happened several times, I start cleaning. If we have had something to eat or drink, I take any applicable dishes to the kitchen, load the dishwasher, wipe down the counters, etc. Sometimes the hint gets picked up, other times they might offer to help, or just continue to watch TV assuming I have some sort of OCD and can't relax if there is a mess (partially true).
If my unwanted guest is still hanging around, I take Bella outside. Everyone knows once you take your dog outside at night, that's the last chance they get before bed. Meaning, it's bedtime. Visit over. I usually have a blanket on my couch at all times because it can get cold in my living room so one of the final measures is always to fold the blanket and put it in it's storage place, therefore eliminating any sort of comfort or relaxation. The whole time during this process I am usually saying things like, "I am so tired," "It's already 12? I'm going to be so tired in the morning," "What a long day this was" so on an so forth.
Unfortunately, I have had to do all these things in one night. In fact, every time this person came over we would go through this. He would never pick up on the hints! I would cringe a little bit when he came over because almost immediately upon arrival he would take his shoes off (for comfort- not because I require it). I knew I was doomed at that point.
I may not pay attention to as much as I should, but I pay attention to social cues and body language. I can't speak for women who wear out their welcome because I have never been one to do that, but guys- get the hint! If you have had a nice visit and there are no other plans, excuse yourself and let the lady breathe. We can't miss you if you never leave, ya know.
Helpful hint, if your gracious hostess has dealt with you lingering around for what seems like hours and you finally decide to leave, don't call once you get down the street and ask to stay the night! Here's a clue, if she wanted you to, she wouldn't have walked you to her door at lightning speed. Also, that really puts someone on the spot and if she's polite, she won't want to hurt your feelings so she will make up some excuse because she's under pressure. I just would expect any future "get togethers" to be in public. In separate cars.
As I read through this, I realize how much I don't miss dating.
Thanks to C- you always got the social cues, ironically, I never sent you any.
I have always struggled with this scenario, being socially awkward I never knew how to politely and effectively end my guest's visit. What I would normally do is start yawning uncontrollably (if it's late) which would be a pretty clear indicator that I am tired, and one should leave. If that didn't work, which has happened several times, I start cleaning. If we have had something to eat or drink, I take any applicable dishes to the kitchen, load the dishwasher, wipe down the counters, etc. Sometimes the hint gets picked up, other times they might offer to help, or just continue to watch TV assuming I have some sort of OCD and can't relax if there is a mess (partially true).
If my unwanted guest is still hanging around, I take Bella outside. Everyone knows once you take your dog outside at night, that's the last chance they get before bed. Meaning, it's bedtime. Visit over. I usually have a blanket on my couch at all times because it can get cold in my living room so one of the final measures is always to fold the blanket and put it in it's storage place, therefore eliminating any sort of comfort or relaxation. The whole time during this process I am usually saying things like, "I am so tired," "It's already 12? I'm going to be so tired in the morning," "What a long day this was" so on an so forth.
Unfortunately, I have had to do all these things in one night. In fact, every time this person came over we would go through this. He would never pick up on the hints! I would cringe a little bit when he came over because almost immediately upon arrival he would take his shoes off (for comfort- not because I require it). I knew I was doomed at that point.
I may not pay attention to as much as I should, but I pay attention to social cues and body language. I can't speak for women who wear out their welcome because I have never been one to do that, but guys- get the hint! If you have had a nice visit and there are no other plans, excuse yourself and let the lady breathe. We can't miss you if you never leave, ya know.
Helpful hint, if your gracious hostess has dealt with you lingering around for what seems like hours and you finally decide to leave, don't call once you get down the street and ask to stay the night! Here's a clue, if she wanted you to, she wouldn't have walked you to her door at lightning speed. Also, that really puts someone on the spot and if she's polite, she won't want to hurt your feelings so she will make up some excuse because she's under pressure. I just would expect any future "get togethers" to be in public. In separate cars.
As I read through this, I realize how much I don't miss dating.
Thanks to C- you always got the social cues, ironically, I never sent you any.
Mar 15, 2012
Operation Repo
In case you haven't noticed by now, the most unfortunate things happen to me. I swear, you can't make this stuff up. In fact, I wish some of the things I blog about were made up! On to my next unfortunate story.
After working one day, I believe it was on a Sunday, I discovered that I couldn't start my car. For some reason, the steering wheel was locked, the key wouldn't turn and I couldn't get it out of park. After struggling for what seemed like eternity, youtubing, googling and eventually calling for help (which ended up being no help other than a ride home), I left my car stranded at my office in Sandy Springs in hopes to have a plan by morning.
After doing some research, I discovered that my particular car has a security feature that when it thinks it's being broken into, it shuts down and you have to use your secondary key since the owner of the vehicle should have two keys. Of course, most owners would have 2 car keys. I don't. Which meant I needed to purchase a new one. Of course, I didn't know that a new key was the solution until I had arranged for a tow truck to come and take my car to the closest mechanic, which was none other than Sandy Springs RBM aka rip off city (who charged me somewhere around $375 for a key. Plus the $80 it costs just to walk in the door -that's neither here nor there).
The tow truck shows up, and the driver explains to me that he doesn't have the "right" truck because my car can't be put into neutral because it's locked and explains that he would be forced to drag my car to RBM. Well, that clearly was not going to work for me so I opted to wait for the appropriate truck. He leaves and I wait hours for the next driver to show up. The next tow truck finally shows up and it's this huge flat bed. As the driver sets up to rescue my car, he blocks the flow of traffic since I am parked right in front of the office. A line of cars is starting to back up as everyone starts looking confused/concerned as to what is going on. Some are even rolling down their windows asking if I'm OK. I am standing to the side, a nervous wreck that my car is going to get damaged somehow as my co-worker is standing next to me, patting my back to comfort me and prevent any potential anxiety attacks.
My car finally gets hooked up and I'm forced to climb into this monster of a truck to commute to the mechanic. As I'm taking in everything that is happening, I see one of my residents running along side the parking lot attempting to flag us down. We stop, I roll down the window, and he says to me, "Ya'll doin a repo??" I gasp in shock because I couldn't believe someone would assume that (not to metioned I am offended) and say, "well, NO.. this is my car and it just won't start!" to which he responds with, "Oh ok, I was about to say, lemme go hide my car then!"
I'm pretty sure I just had a blank stare on my face while thinking, where do I work?? Although working in property management, I can't tell you how many residents over the years have come into my office irate that their car has been stolen, when it actually was repossessed. Talk about embarrassing (for them). So I take a step back and think about the events that just occured and it dawns on me that now all of my residents, current and potential, totally think my car was just repossed at my workplace. That's pretty humilating. To make matters worse, the loaner car RBM gave me was a some kind of Huyandai, which totally did not help it seem like I lost my car due to financial stuggles.
Luckily, my car was returned to me the next day so if my residents/co-workers think I was going through a financial hardship, hopefully it seemed like I got it resolved right away.
Word to the wise, own two sets of car keys!
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