Love is blind.
Actually, love isn't blind at all because you can clearly see who you're dating. However, when you love/care for someone, you often willingly ignore those little things called red flags. We all think people can change, which they can, but not because you want them to. People change because they want to. Yes, we want to be the reason someone changes for the better but you're just in for a let down and a waste of your time if that's what you're striving for.
It's never a good feeling to look back at past relationships and think, "what was I thinking?" or "I shouldn't have ignored that.."
But, it happens. And hopefully, if anything, it makes for a great story. Even at your own expense.
1). Lack of Education.
Education is important. Everyone has different standards for this topic, to each their own. I'm not necessarily saying you should only date ivy league graduates or students, I'm saying you should strive to date someone with a high school diploma or, at the very least, a G.E.D. Life happens, I get it. Who am I to judge? All I'm saying is that you can't really expect to get far in life without some sort of high school completion. Preferably, before you hit your mid-20's.....
2). Lack of Career.
When you hit a certain age, certain jobs are not acceptable unless you are in school. There is a difference between a job and a career. If you are doing something because you genuinely love it and want to grow in that industry, then more power to you. If you're doing something because you're lazy or you couldn't find anything else, it's time to reevaluate. I get times are hard, and jobs are hard to come by. Anything is better than nothing, as long as you're at least still actively job hunting. Unless your criminal record prevents you from doing so. In that case, I would say to reevaluate your relationship because that could be as good as it's going to get.
3). Unrealistic and/or Embarrassing Goals.
Being a rapper is not realistic. At least it's not realistic for me to date an aspiring "rapper"(....anymore). Everyone in Atlanta is involved in some sort of music, modeling, promoting, producing, etc. Unless you have some sort of buzz and have done something at least kind of impressive, do not tell me that's what you're doing with your life. White rappers- even more ridiculous. At least once you're past your mid-20's. Now, if you are serious about your craft and talented, then you should absolutely be pursuing your goal. You aren't passionate about something if you aren't willing to put in the work to get it.
4). Questionable Phone Calls
Um, if you find Quest or other such dating hot lines on the family plan you share with your boyfriend, I wouldn't recommend continuing that relationship. Especially if it continues on a regular basis.
5). Dating Profiles
If a friend calls you to tell you that they just happened to come across your boyfriend on a dating site, it's time to move on.
6). Public Dates
When you run into your boyfriend at a bar with another girl. During guys night. That's supposed to be taking place in a different town. Do I need to go further?
7). Over Emotional
If your boyfriend thinks it's OK to tell you that his bad day has led him to sitting on the floor eating ice cream while crying, or does nothing but quote female song lyrics on social networking sites, or gets emotional over Taylor Swift (literally), I would say it's safe to say he should become an ex, with the great possibility he might like your guy friends.
8). Solicitation.
If you should find that your boyfriend has been creating Craigslist Ads for "casual encounters" under an alias and also exploring the men seeking men section, I'm pretty sure what you have to offer does not interest him.
9). Has the Ex-Factor
If your current boyfriend/girlfriend still communicates with their ex, cut ties immediately. If they say "oh he/she's crazy and won't leave me alone," run even faster. The only reason an ex will still call/text/email is because they still get a response.
10). Openly Flirtatious
If you are out with your significant other, you shouldn't flirt with the opposite sex. Duh. If you run into someone you know, introduce your man/woman! Don't stand there and have an entire conversation with someone and completely ignore your beau. Ladies, don't let other guys buy you drinks while you're out with your man, it's incredibly disrespectful. You wouldn't want your man buying other girls drinks while he's with you. Regardless of how you know them. Unless you're doing a group shot or someone is buying an entire round, politely decline the offer and save yourself an argument.
Some of these might sound completely ridiculous. I would be lying if I said I wasn't involved in any of these scenarios.
I appreciate my current beau more than ever. Thank you for being normal. So far.
-M
**Special thanks to Mishella for helping me out with this and laughing with me. Also, great thanks to all the losers I've dated. You make for awesome laughs at parties.**
