This will probably be one of my longest blog posts, so you don't have to read the whole thing, although it would be nice of you. This idea came to me while having a convo with a co-worker who ended one of my sentences with, "white girl problems."
I attempted an at-home self tan and it was disastrous, I was super streaked and looked dirty. White girl problems.
I wanted to change my hair, so I decided to go platinum. Then I went swimming with my newly bleached hair and it turned green. $50 later on hair products and I'm still trying to fix the tone. White girl problems.
Being the only white girl in an online chat with some co-workers I referred to a collegue as being the HNIC (I typed it just like that, I didn't spell anything out). He told me I didn't know him like that. White girl problems.
I went to Six Flags and my boyfriend got a super nice tan, I got sunburned through my T-shirt. White girl problems.
I got a pair of sneakers and thought I was completely "swagged out" then it was brought to my attention you don't keep the stock laces in. White girl problems.
Being called Becky all night at a club with your black friends. White girl problems.
THEN, I stumbled across this blog post, "Stuff White People Like" and decided to add some commentary (and drastically shorten the list).
Picking Their Own Fruit- I can't really speak on this one personally, but I have to say, I don't really see many other races getting into that. In America, anyway.
Camping- I actually loathe camping and made a vow to never do it again. White people have it wrong.
Hating People That Wear Ed Hardy- Well that's because no one should ever wear it. Ever. That's so 2004.
Sea Salt- yep, my boyfriend just had me buy some.
Ugly Sweater Parties- I have never attended one, but I do only see pictures of white people that do that.
Black Music that Black People Don't Listen to Anymore- I think this mostly applies to older, white people. My boss is guilty of this. I.E. she busted out in "Love in the Mouth" the other day proud of herself. Blank stare.
Promising to Learn a New Language- I say I'm going to learn Spanish and Portuguese like, every month. It's true.
America- I mean, who doesn't love America?
Halloween- Halloween is my all-time FAVORITE holiday! I'll be a stereotype for Halloween, yo.
Hummus- Hummus is delicious.
Frisbee Sports- I don't do Frisbees. Bella doesn't either. I guess my black friends rubbed off on me in the outdoor sports department
Self Aware Hip Hop References- I don't really have a response to this one.
Children’s Games as Adults- OK The Game of Life will always be fun and I am reigning Checkers champ. Period.
Being Offended - Well, that's offensive.
Grammar- For the love of God, learn the difference between your and you're! Also, there's no X in "ask"
Scarves- I do have a lot of scarves..only wore one of them. Once.
Dinner Parties- I love to entertain. So there.
St. Patrick’s Day- an excuse to party and drink? White people are there. Even if we aren't Irish (not all white people are)
Bottles of Water - because water is important and why get it for free when you can buy a bottle that can give you cancer?
Threatening to Move to Canada - I have had this discussion with my grandmother. Shocker.
Oscar Parties - I say I'm going to have one every year. I'll admit it. No one really seems interested. I need more white friends
Being the only white person around- Well ya know, for some people this just comes naturally. AKA, I'm fine with being the token at most events
Expensive Sandwiches- I will pay $7 for a sandwich at Panera Bread, with an iced Green Tea, please.
Bicycles- you obviously haven't seen that episode of Family Hustle. TI and Tiny dropped 10k at a bicycle shop.
Toyota Prius- white people WHY must you love the Prius?
Lawyers- I feel like there's something oddly satisfying about threatening to call your attorney. If you actually have one.
Kitchen Gadgets- Does a Crock Pot count? Because I just got one and I have been rockin' dinner.
Dogs- I JUST LOVE DOGS! They are the best pet to have EVER!!
Sushi- Spicy Tuna, please. With a side of Edamame.
Apple Products- iPhone 5, where ARE you?
Vegan/Vegetarianism- sigh.. been there. Proud PETA member.
80s Night-I hate 80's parties and 80's music. But my white friends love all things 80's.
Wine- Sangria, Riesling, Pinor Noir, Pino Grigio, Cab Sav- yep.
Traveling- my most favorite thing to do.
Yoga- I suck at Yoga and personally, I hate it. But my white friends swear by it.
Having Black Friends- I do love having black friends, but not because they're black. And no one can ever call me a racist. bonus.
Tea- Grande Chai, please.
**Thanks to: http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.com/full-list-of-stuff-white-people-like/
And again to Mishella for the idea
Jun 1, 2012
May 9, 2012
Pet Peeves
Honestly, I'm in a rather irritable mood today. I'm not sure if it's the weather or the result of not sleeping well or the fact that the English muffin I was looking oh so forward to was covered in mold. Whatever the case may be, I decided that my mood was a suitable one to blog about a few of my pet peeves. Let's jump right into it, shall we?
1. When People Insult My Food.
I'm not a picky eater. I used to be a pescetarian (which is a vegetarian that eats seafood), but I now eat chicken and occasionally turkey. I know, I suck. Anyway, I don't eat pork or beef and haven't in years. Because of that, I enjoy tofu as a substitute. The other day at work, Moe's catered for some pointless staff lunch (which took my hour away from that place) and I requested tofu for my plate (their tofu bowls are delish). My boss, who is actually infamous for this, makes this HUGE deal about it. "What does it taste like, why does it look like that" etc. I encouraged everyone to try it (mostly so they would stop asking me questions). As I'm finishing my boss comes up to me, mid-bite, with her nose turned up broadcasting how it tastes like cardboard and she doesn't know how anyone can eat that. I find that so rude! People, if someone around you is eating something that you normally wouldn't, just let them live their life! I'm not going in on you for eating baby pigs and Cows.. so don't knock my choices.
2. Loud Eaters
I know I've already touched on people that smack their food so I won't go into detail there, since it's self-explanatory. Don't do it. Also, please refrain from scraping your teeth on your fork! Isn't it painful? You've got to be taking off some enamel when doing that. You aren't in prison, you don't need to be in such a rush to eat..
3. Bahahaha
I just feel like, when I laugh, there are no hints of "B" in my chuckle. Therefore, I don't understand why people insist on typing, "bahahaha". You sound like a sheep!
4. HBD
In case you were wondering, "HBD" is the new Happy Birthday. Let me just say, whoever wishes me a "hbd" on facebook or via text, is no longer my friend. That is the laziest thing I have ever witnessed! ILY for I love you also applies. Abbreviations are just for a-holes.
5. Your/You're
For the love of God, please get it right! I don't know what it will take for people to understand this grammatical error. You're= you are. This is elementary!
6. Standing in Line
Standing in line is already annoying, but what about the people that stand practically on your heels? Do they think that it's going to get them closer to checking out? Or are they trying to see what I have in my hands? I don't understand, and it makes me paranoid. Back up!
7. Facebook Hijacking
There are many annoyances that go along with facebook, but I really don't love when people hijack a picture or status. Example: I post something and two other people start having a completely unrelated conversation. Which also leads to me getting a ton of notifications and my thunder has completely been stolen.
8. Wet Towels
I hate when wet bath towels are left on the floor. Then the carpet is wet and the towel usually mildewed. There is nothing worse then a mildewed bath towel!
9. Summer Shoes with Winter Feet
Ladies and gents- if you're busting out flip flops or sandals, please make sure your feet are appropriately groomed for this attire.
10. Inconsiderate Drivers
If you have been waiting for someone to let you out or to let you over for what seems like days, and I take the liberty of doing a good deed for you, wave and thank me! It takes two seconds and if it wasn't for me you'd still be stuck wherever you were, becoming that much later for wherever you have to be so show some gratitude!
OK, I think that about sums it up for now and has surprisingly helped my mood. There will most definitely be a part II for this, but for now, have a great day and remember to thank your fellow commuters.
1. When People Insult My Food.
I'm not a picky eater. I used to be a pescetarian (which is a vegetarian that eats seafood), but I now eat chicken and occasionally turkey. I know, I suck. Anyway, I don't eat pork or beef and haven't in years. Because of that, I enjoy tofu as a substitute. The other day at work, Moe's catered for some pointless staff lunch (which took my hour away from that place) and I requested tofu for my plate (their tofu bowls are delish). My boss, who is actually infamous for this, makes this HUGE deal about it. "What does it taste like, why does it look like that" etc. I encouraged everyone to try it (mostly so they would stop asking me questions). As I'm finishing my boss comes up to me, mid-bite, with her nose turned up broadcasting how it tastes like cardboard and she doesn't know how anyone can eat that. I find that so rude! People, if someone around you is eating something that you normally wouldn't, just let them live their life! I'm not going in on you for eating baby pigs and Cows.. so don't knock my choices.
2. Loud Eaters
I know I've already touched on people that smack their food so I won't go into detail there, since it's self-explanatory. Don't do it. Also, please refrain from scraping your teeth on your fork! Isn't it painful? You've got to be taking off some enamel when doing that. You aren't in prison, you don't need to be in such a rush to eat..
3. Bahahaha
I just feel like, when I laugh, there are no hints of "B" in my chuckle. Therefore, I don't understand why people insist on typing, "bahahaha". You sound like a sheep!
4. HBD
In case you were wondering, "HBD" is the new Happy Birthday. Let me just say, whoever wishes me a "hbd" on facebook or via text, is no longer my friend. That is the laziest thing I have ever witnessed! ILY for I love you also applies. Abbreviations are just for a-holes.
5. Your/You're
For the love of God, please get it right! I don't know what it will take for people to understand this grammatical error. You're= you are. This is elementary!
6. Standing in Line
Standing in line is already annoying, but what about the people that stand practically on your heels? Do they think that it's going to get them closer to checking out? Or are they trying to see what I have in my hands? I don't understand, and it makes me paranoid. Back up!
7. Facebook Hijacking
There are many annoyances that go along with facebook, but I really don't love when people hijack a picture or status. Example: I post something and two other people start having a completely unrelated conversation. Which also leads to me getting a ton of notifications and my thunder has completely been stolen.
8. Wet Towels
I hate when wet bath towels are left on the floor. Then the carpet is wet and the towel usually mildewed. There is nothing worse then a mildewed bath towel!
9. Summer Shoes with Winter Feet
Ladies and gents- if you're busting out flip flops or sandals, please make sure your feet are appropriately groomed for this attire.
10. Inconsiderate Drivers
If you have been waiting for someone to let you out or to let you over for what seems like days, and I take the liberty of doing a good deed for you, wave and thank me! It takes two seconds and if it wasn't for me you'd still be stuck wherever you were, becoming that much later for wherever you have to be so show some gratitude!
OK, I think that about sums it up for now and has surprisingly helped my mood. There will most definitely be a part II for this, but for now, have a great day and remember to thank your fellow commuters.
Apr 16, 2012
Angels
I know I usually try to post funny/embarrassing stories but today I'm switching gears. I want to share an experience that happened to me recently and open up a bit to all you loyal readers.
As most of you know, I lost my dad to cancer October 2008. Although this year will mark 4 years, it still seems as if it happened yesterday. If you've ever lost someone close to you, you know that nothing can prepare you for the emotions and heartache that accompanies it. Even if you knew it was coming. We knew that my dad's time was limited, but even then, more time was initially predicted. My dad was adamant about not having a sad memorial service. He said he wanted it to be a party. He wanted everyone in the immediate family to pick a song for the memorial to accompany the song he chose, Lynyrd Skynyrd's "Free Bird" -which is now one of my favorite songs, because it connects me to him, even if it's bittersweet and is difficult to not get emotional when I hear it.
I still struggle with the loss of my dad on a regular basis, and miss him everyday. I still hope for signs from him, I still talk to him. I still have his number in my cell phone. I still replay conversations in my head. I wonder what would be different if he were still here. I think about all the important milestones in my life he will miss. I still get jealous that my sister had him to walk her down the aisle, and that he got to meet her first born knowing I'll never have that. I still get angry sometimes and wonder how any of this was fair. I also know that God has a plan, even when we don't understand it and that everything happens for a reason.
Losing my dad caused me to handle a lot of things the wrong way. I didn't know how to "grieve" and I don't think I wanted to, so I chose to distract myself. I put 150% into a relationship that wasn't healthy and lost myself in that process. No matter how that relationship ended, I will always be thankful that he was there for me, when he didn't have to be, as I went through the hardest thing I have ever gone through (thus far). One of the reasons that relationship lasted longer than it should have was because I knew that he would always be the last boyfriend to meet my dad. That was important to me and I held on to it for entirely too long.
As I entered a new relationship (hi, love), one of the things that was constantly in the back of my mind was how my dad would like him. Although I knew my dad would love him, mostly because he makes me happy, I still wondered what their encounter would be like. Would they understand each other's humor? Would they have a lot in common? Would my dad approve? I came to terms with the fact I would never know the answers to those questions and decided to follow my heart with the feeling that my dad would approve and be happy for me.
My boyfriend Chazz is a mixed martial arts fighter (that's an entirely different blog post in itself) and if you don't know anyone that does the sport, then I can't really explain or describe what all is involved. Let's just say that when fight week rolls around, things get stressful. Fight week is typically when Chazz is cutting weight (which could basically mean starving/dehydrating yourself to make sure you weigh in at your fight weight, which is typically anywhere from 5-25 pounds from your walk around weight depending on the weight class you're fighting in) which is not a fun process. People tend to get irritable when they don't eat in case you didn't know. And because I'm such a supportive/awesome girlfriend- I cut weight with him. Meaning, if he can't eat, I don't. If he has to run the neighborhood in his sauna suit, I suit up in sweats and hit the pavement with him. If he has to sit in a car with the heat on in 70 degree weather- I'm in the passenger seat (thankfully that was only one time). If he doesn't have anyone to spar with, we move the cars out of the garage, I put on my pink boxing gloves and his hideous headgear and try my best to keep up. When he can't drive to weigh ins the day before due to dehydration, I arrange my schedule and get him there (even when they are in Athens or Alabama). I admire his dedication so I make a point to not only say I support him, but show him by being by his side during the entire process. However, being human, the stress weighs heavily on me as well, which causes us to have a short fuse with each other and be a little more... snappy than usual. Then it's fight time, and everything that goes into that moment is all worth it.
Chazz's first fight was in Athens (won in the first round-no big deal). Athens obviously wasn't ideal, because it wasn't exactly close (and it's home of UGA which disgusts me since I'm a GATOR), but anything UGA/Bulldawgs/Athens, etc will always remind me of my dad. My dad was the biggest, most obnoxious GA fan that ever lived, no joke. The moment Chazz and I hit downtown Athens (which was by accident I think) "Free Bird" came on the radio. Call me crazy, but the odds of that song coming on at that moment in downtown Athens could only mean one thing- my dad was there. I carried that feeling throughout the weekend and like to think he was with Chazz during his fight.
That kind of sign has never happened to me before. Fast forward to this past weekend, Chazz had a fight in Tuscaloosa. This time, I would be in his corner. I was a nervous wreck. I'm always nervous before, I mean, some other guy is getting in a cage with my boyfriend with the intention to physically harm him and anything can happen. I was trying to keep my nerves under control to be encouraging and calm for him as he warmed up/prepared for his fight. We arrived at the venue with the other fighters around 4:30pm anticipating the start time of 7:00. As 7:00 grew closer, the DJ started playing music to get the crowd going and get ready for the first fight of the night. Suddenly, there was a huge change in the dub step music as Lynyrd Skynyrd's "Free Bird" randomly came over the speaker system. My body froze in disbelief almost thinking I was hearing things then I heard a nearby fighter say, "wow, they're playing Lynyrd Skynyrd." Then it was turned off, almost as if it was played by mistake.
I looked at Chazz in shock and this overwhelming calm came over me. I no longer felt like I was going to vomit from nerves and my uncontrollable shaking seemed to cease. My dad was there. And he was telling me everything was ok. I couldn't understand why I was getting these signs only at Chazz's fights. There have been so many times when I was having a hard day or needed his advice and nada. Then it made sense. My dad knows his approval is important and he wants me to know he supports me. Even better, he supports Chazz. Call me crazy, but I just think it's too much of a coincidence so I'm gonna rock with it.
I love you, dad. I miss you everyday, but I know that you are with me more than I realize.
As most of you know, I lost my dad to cancer October 2008. Although this year will mark 4 years, it still seems as if it happened yesterday. If you've ever lost someone close to you, you know that nothing can prepare you for the emotions and heartache that accompanies it. Even if you knew it was coming. We knew that my dad's time was limited, but even then, more time was initially predicted. My dad was adamant about not having a sad memorial service. He said he wanted it to be a party. He wanted everyone in the immediate family to pick a song for the memorial to accompany the song he chose, Lynyrd Skynyrd's "Free Bird" -which is now one of my favorite songs, because it connects me to him, even if it's bittersweet and is difficult to not get emotional when I hear it.
I still struggle with the loss of my dad on a regular basis, and miss him everyday. I still hope for signs from him, I still talk to him. I still have his number in my cell phone. I still replay conversations in my head. I wonder what would be different if he were still here. I think about all the important milestones in my life he will miss. I still get jealous that my sister had him to walk her down the aisle, and that he got to meet her first born knowing I'll never have that. I still get angry sometimes and wonder how any of this was fair. I also know that God has a plan, even when we don't understand it and that everything happens for a reason.
Losing my dad caused me to handle a lot of things the wrong way. I didn't know how to "grieve" and I don't think I wanted to, so I chose to distract myself. I put 150% into a relationship that wasn't healthy and lost myself in that process. No matter how that relationship ended, I will always be thankful that he was there for me, when he didn't have to be, as I went through the hardest thing I have ever gone through (thus far). One of the reasons that relationship lasted longer than it should have was because I knew that he would always be the last boyfriend to meet my dad. That was important to me and I held on to it for entirely too long.
As I entered a new relationship (hi, love), one of the things that was constantly in the back of my mind was how my dad would like him. Although I knew my dad would love him, mostly because he makes me happy, I still wondered what their encounter would be like. Would they understand each other's humor? Would they have a lot in common? Would my dad approve? I came to terms with the fact I would never know the answers to those questions and decided to follow my heart with the feeling that my dad would approve and be happy for me.
My boyfriend Chazz is a mixed martial arts fighter (that's an entirely different blog post in itself) and if you don't know anyone that does the sport, then I can't really explain or describe what all is involved. Let's just say that when fight week rolls around, things get stressful. Fight week is typically when Chazz is cutting weight (which could basically mean starving/dehydrating yourself to make sure you weigh in at your fight weight, which is typically anywhere from 5-25 pounds from your walk around weight depending on the weight class you're fighting in) which is not a fun process. People tend to get irritable when they don't eat in case you didn't know. And because I'm such a supportive/awesome girlfriend- I cut weight with him. Meaning, if he can't eat, I don't. If he has to run the neighborhood in his sauna suit, I suit up in sweats and hit the pavement with him. If he has to sit in a car with the heat on in 70 degree weather- I'm in the passenger seat (thankfully that was only one time). If he doesn't have anyone to spar with, we move the cars out of the garage, I put on my pink boxing gloves and his hideous headgear and try my best to keep up. When he can't drive to weigh ins the day before due to dehydration, I arrange my schedule and get him there (even when they are in Athens or Alabama). I admire his dedication so I make a point to not only say I support him, but show him by being by his side during the entire process. However, being human, the stress weighs heavily on me as well, which causes us to have a short fuse with each other and be a little more... snappy than usual. Then it's fight time, and everything that goes into that moment is all worth it.
Chazz's first fight was in Athens (won in the first round-no big deal). Athens obviously wasn't ideal, because it wasn't exactly close (and it's home of UGA which disgusts me since I'm a GATOR), but anything UGA/Bulldawgs/Athens, etc will always remind me of my dad. My dad was the biggest, most obnoxious GA fan that ever lived, no joke. The moment Chazz and I hit downtown Athens (which was by accident I think) "Free Bird" came on the radio. Call me crazy, but the odds of that song coming on at that moment in downtown Athens could only mean one thing- my dad was there. I carried that feeling throughout the weekend and like to think he was with Chazz during his fight.
That kind of sign has never happened to me before. Fast forward to this past weekend, Chazz had a fight in Tuscaloosa. This time, I would be in his corner. I was a nervous wreck. I'm always nervous before, I mean, some other guy is getting in a cage with my boyfriend with the intention to physically harm him and anything can happen. I was trying to keep my nerves under control to be encouraging and calm for him as he warmed up/prepared for his fight. We arrived at the venue with the other fighters around 4:30pm anticipating the start time of 7:00. As 7:00 grew closer, the DJ started playing music to get the crowd going and get ready for the first fight of the night. Suddenly, there was a huge change in the dub step music as Lynyrd Skynyrd's "Free Bird" randomly came over the speaker system. My body froze in disbelief almost thinking I was hearing things then I heard a nearby fighter say, "wow, they're playing Lynyrd Skynyrd." Then it was turned off, almost as if it was played by mistake.
I looked at Chazz in shock and this overwhelming calm came over me. I no longer felt like I was going to vomit from nerves and my uncontrollable shaking seemed to cease. My dad was there. And he was telling me everything was ok. I couldn't understand why I was getting these signs only at Chazz's fights. There have been so many times when I was having a hard day or needed his advice and nada. Then it made sense. My dad knows his approval is important and he wants me to know he supports me. Even better, he supports Chazz. Call me crazy, but I just think it's too much of a coincidence so I'm gonna rock with it.
I love you, dad. I miss you everyday, but I know that you are with me more than I realize.
Apr 3, 2012
Here's Your Hat...
One of the worst things that can happen is to have a guest over that won't leave. At least for me because I'm too nice and will say just about anything but, "you gotta go."
I have always struggled with this scenario, being socially awkward I never knew how to politely and effectively end my guest's visit. What I would normally do is start yawning uncontrollably (if it's late) which would be a pretty clear indicator that I am tired, and one should leave. If that didn't work, which has happened several times, I start cleaning. If we have had something to eat or drink, I take any applicable dishes to the kitchen, load the dishwasher, wipe down the counters, etc. Sometimes the hint gets picked up, other times they might offer to help, or just continue to watch TV assuming I have some sort of OCD and can't relax if there is a mess (partially true).
If my unwanted guest is still hanging around, I take Bella outside. Everyone knows once you take your dog outside at night, that's the last chance they get before bed. Meaning, it's bedtime. Visit over. I usually have a blanket on my couch at all times because it can get cold in my living room so one of the final measures is always to fold the blanket and put it in it's storage place, therefore eliminating any sort of comfort or relaxation. The whole time during this process I am usually saying things like, "I am so tired," "It's already 12? I'm going to be so tired in the morning," "What a long day this was" so on an so forth.
Unfortunately, I have had to do all these things in one night. In fact, every time this person came over we would go through this. He would never pick up on the hints! I would cringe a little bit when he came over because almost immediately upon arrival he would take his shoes off (for comfort- not because I require it). I knew I was doomed at that point.
I may not pay attention to as much as I should, but I pay attention to social cues and body language. I can't speak for women who wear out their welcome because I have never been one to do that, but guys- get the hint! If you have had a nice visit and there are no other plans, excuse yourself and let the lady breathe. We can't miss you if you never leave, ya know.
Helpful hint, if your gracious hostess has dealt with you lingering around for what seems like hours and you finally decide to leave, don't call once you get down the street and ask to stay the night! Here's a clue, if she wanted you to, she wouldn't have walked you to her door at lightning speed. Also, that really puts someone on the spot and if she's polite, she won't want to hurt your feelings so she will make up some excuse because she's under pressure. I just would expect any future "get togethers" to be in public. In separate cars.
As I read through this, I realize how much I don't miss dating.
Thanks to C- you always got the social cues, ironically, I never sent you any.
I have always struggled with this scenario, being socially awkward I never knew how to politely and effectively end my guest's visit. What I would normally do is start yawning uncontrollably (if it's late) which would be a pretty clear indicator that I am tired, and one should leave. If that didn't work, which has happened several times, I start cleaning. If we have had something to eat or drink, I take any applicable dishes to the kitchen, load the dishwasher, wipe down the counters, etc. Sometimes the hint gets picked up, other times they might offer to help, or just continue to watch TV assuming I have some sort of OCD and can't relax if there is a mess (partially true).
If my unwanted guest is still hanging around, I take Bella outside. Everyone knows once you take your dog outside at night, that's the last chance they get before bed. Meaning, it's bedtime. Visit over. I usually have a blanket on my couch at all times because it can get cold in my living room so one of the final measures is always to fold the blanket and put it in it's storage place, therefore eliminating any sort of comfort or relaxation. The whole time during this process I am usually saying things like, "I am so tired," "It's already 12? I'm going to be so tired in the morning," "What a long day this was" so on an so forth.
Unfortunately, I have had to do all these things in one night. In fact, every time this person came over we would go through this. He would never pick up on the hints! I would cringe a little bit when he came over because almost immediately upon arrival he would take his shoes off (for comfort- not because I require it). I knew I was doomed at that point.
I may not pay attention to as much as I should, but I pay attention to social cues and body language. I can't speak for women who wear out their welcome because I have never been one to do that, but guys- get the hint! If you have had a nice visit and there are no other plans, excuse yourself and let the lady breathe. We can't miss you if you never leave, ya know.
Helpful hint, if your gracious hostess has dealt with you lingering around for what seems like hours and you finally decide to leave, don't call once you get down the street and ask to stay the night! Here's a clue, if she wanted you to, she wouldn't have walked you to her door at lightning speed. Also, that really puts someone on the spot and if she's polite, she won't want to hurt your feelings so she will make up some excuse because she's under pressure. I just would expect any future "get togethers" to be in public. In separate cars.
As I read through this, I realize how much I don't miss dating.
Thanks to C- you always got the social cues, ironically, I never sent you any.
Mar 15, 2012
Operation Repo
In case you haven't noticed by now, the most unfortunate things happen to me. I swear, you can't make this stuff up. In fact, I wish some of the things I blog about were made up! On to my next unfortunate story.
After working one day, I believe it was on a Sunday, I discovered that I couldn't start my car. For some reason, the steering wheel was locked, the key wouldn't turn and I couldn't get it out of park. After struggling for what seemed like eternity, youtubing, googling and eventually calling for help (which ended up being no help other than a ride home), I left my car stranded at my office in Sandy Springs in hopes to have a plan by morning.
After doing some research, I discovered that my particular car has a security feature that when it thinks it's being broken into, it shuts down and you have to use your secondary key since the owner of the vehicle should have two keys. Of course, most owners would have 2 car keys. I don't. Which meant I needed to purchase a new one. Of course, I didn't know that a new key was the solution until I had arranged for a tow truck to come and take my car to the closest mechanic, which was none other than Sandy Springs RBM aka rip off city (who charged me somewhere around $375 for a key. Plus the $80 it costs just to walk in the door -that's neither here nor there).
The tow truck shows up, and the driver explains to me that he doesn't have the "right" truck because my car can't be put into neutral because it's locked and explains that he would be forced to drag my car to RBM. Well, that clearly was not going to work for me so I opted to wait for the appropriate truck. He leaves and I wait hours for the next driver to show up. The next tow truck finally shows up and it's this huge flat bed. As the driver sets up to rescue my car, he blocks the flow of traffic since I am parked right in front of the office. A line of cars is starting to back up as everyone starts looking confused/concerned as to what is going on. Some are even rolling down their windows asking if I'm OK. I am standing to the side, a nervous wreck that my car is going to get damaged somehow as my co-worker is standing next to me, patting my back to comfort me and prevent any potential anxiety attacks.
My car finally gets hooked up and I'm forced to climb into this monster of a truck to commute to the mechanic. As I'm taking in everything that is happening, I see one of my residents running along side the parking lot attempting to flag us down. We stop, I roll down the window, and he says to me, "Ya'll doin a repo??" I gasp in shock because I couldn't believe someone would assume that (not to metioned I am offended) and say, "well, NO.. this is my car and it just won't start!" to which he responds with, "Oh ok, I was about to say, lemme go hide my car then!"
I'm pretty sure I just had a blank stare on my face while thinking, where do I work?? Although working in property management, I can't tell you how many residents over the years have come into my office irate that their car has been stolen, when it actually was repossessed. Talk about embarrassing (for them). So I take a step back and think about the events that just occured and it dawns on me that now all of my residents, current and potential, totally think my car was just repossed at my workplace. That's pretty humilating. To make matters worse, the loaner car RBM gave me was a some kind of Huyandai, which totally did not help it seem like I lost my car due to financial stuggles.
Luckily, my car was returned to me the next day so if my residents/co-workers think I was going through a financial hardship, hopefully it seemed like I got it resolved right away.
Word to the wise, own two sets of car keys!
Mar 7, 2012
Adult Supervision Required
Kids don't love me. I'm not really sure why. I know I have little patience and I will argue with just about anything, but before a kid even knows that about me they have already predetermined they don't like me. I have had a few kids take to me, but the majority are just real terrors.
What concerns me is that I have gotten into several verbal altercations with children. Some of which even turned physical. Don't judge me, this little brat ran up and kicked me in the shin, you would have pushed him down, too. Anyway, I think the problem is that I try to reason with children. Much like trying to reason with a drunk person, you don't get very far because they don't understand nor do they want to.
I used to get into physical fights with my best friend's little sister (who is 7 years younger than us) and then lie and tell her mom we were having a dance battle which was causing all the thumping. Blood was definitely drawn more than once. In my defense, she used to be a real asshole. She was the little kid that said whatever she wanted with no filter (like most kids), to the point I was hesitant to go over there to play in fear of being humiliated. Probably why I tricked her into chugging hot sauce when she was around 8. I also tried to teach the neighborhood kids how to correctly play soccer, then they all ganged up on me by mocking how I did throw-ins. I ended up kicking their soccer ball into the woods and then storming home.
OK, the shin thing. I was showing an apartment to a family of what seemed like 28, one of the members being around 3 years old. He definitely had ADHD. He was running around like a crazy person, being completely ignored by his parents, and at first I thought he was cute. I smiled, even pretended to chase him a little bit. Then he went full on beast mode, and started running circles around me and then would push me and run away. The next time he did it, I bucked at him when his parents weren't looking because I was getting angry. I guess he figured I really tested him with that so he sprinted up to me and kicked me as hard as he could in the shin. So I pushed the crap out of him. He fell down, and then gave me this look of terror with eyes that said "why would you do that to me? I'm just a little boy" and then his eyes welled up with tears. I knew what was coming, so I glared at him and told him he better not. Too late. He burst into tears and hysterically ran to find his mom in one of the bedrooms. I was able to beat him to her and conclude the tour- shifting the focus. That kid never came near me again.
One time my 3 year old niece said she didn't want to play with me, to the extent she put herself in time-out so she didn't have to! When she finally came around, she was playing some game alone, flailing around when her shirt-sleeve somehow got pushed up. She spun around so fast and said to me, "Don't push my sleeve up like that!" Well, I was shocked, for one. I didn't touch her sleeve! So I told her, "um, I didn't push your sleeve up... but I could have if I wanted to." Then she went and told my sister on me. Who does that?
I was playing with my friend's son several years ago. We were actually getting along, I think we were play wrestling (looking back now I see maybe that wasn't the best idea). Anyway, I ended up dislocating something in his arm or shoulder and I think they had to seek medical attention.... He's fine now.
Kids are always telling me not to do something. I don't take well to that. Don't tell me what to do, little kid! This is usually what prompts an argument. Kids don't understand I can do what I want. Including telling them what to do. I'm also way too competitive with children but if you've read my blog post, "Winning" then you get it.
So, who needs a babysitter?
What concerns me is that I have gotten into several verbal altercations with children. Some of which even turned physical. Don't judge me, this little brat ran up and kicked me in the shin, you would have pushed him down, too. Anyway, I think the problem is that I try to reason with children. Much like trying to reason with a drunk person, you don't get very far because they don't understand nor do they want to.
I used to get into physical fights with my best friend's little sister (who is 7 years younger than us) and then lie and tell her mom we were having a dance battle which was causing all the thumping. Blood was definitely drawn more than once. In my defense, she used to be a real asshole. She was the little kid that said whatever she wanted with no filter (like most kids), to the point I was hesitant to go over there to play in fear of being humiliated. Probably why I tricked her into chugging hot sauce when she was around 8. I also tried to teach the neighborhood kids how to correctly play soccer, then they all ganged up on me by mocking how I did throw-ins. I ended up kicking their soccer ball into the woods and then storming home.
OK, the shin thing. I was showing an apartment to a family of what seemed like 28, one of the members being around 3 years old. He definitely had ADHD. He was running around like a crazy person, being completely ignored by his parents, and at first I thought he was cute. I smiled, even pretended to chase him a little bit. Then he went full on beast mode, and started running circles around me and then would push me and run away. The next time he did it, I bucked at him when his parents weren't looking because I was getting angry. I guess he figured I really tested him with that so he sprinted up to me and kicked me as hard as he could in the shin. So I pushed the crap out of him. He fell down, and then gave me this look of terror with eyes that said "why would you do that to me? I'm just a little boy" and then his eyes welled up with tears. I knew what was coming, so I glared at him and told him he better not. Too late. He burst into tears and hysterically ran to find his mom in one of the bedrooms. I was able to beat him to her and conclude the tour- shifting the focus. That kid never came near me again.
One time my 3 year old niece said she didn't want to play with me, to the extent she put herself in time-out so she didn't have to! When she finally came around, she was playing some game alone, flailing around when her shirt-sleeve somehow got pushed up. She spun around so fast and said to me, "Don't push my sleeve up like that!" Well, I was shocked, for one. I didn't touch her sleeve! So I told her, "um, I didn't push your sleeve up... but I could have if I wanted to." Then she went and told my sister on me. Who does that?
I was playing with my friend's son several years ago. We were actually getting along, I think we were play wrestling (looking back now I see maybe that wasn't the best idea). Anyway, I ended up dislocating something in his arm or shoulder and I think they had to seek medical attention.... He's fine now.
Kids are always telling me not to do something. I don't take well to that. Don't tell me what to do, little kid! This is usually what prompts an argument. Kids don't understand I can do what I want. Including telling them what to do. I'm also way too competitive with children but if you've read my blog post, "Winning" then you get it.
So, who needs a babysitter?
Mar 5, 2012
It's All Fun & Games Until Someone Loses a Leg
I like fashion. I like dressing up. I seem to annoy people with my wardrobe choices, at times. Let me explain, I don't ever wear sneakers. Unless I'm going to the gym. I don't have anything against sneakers, and I think it's great when a girl can rock them. I'm not one of those girls. For one, being only 5'3'', I need the height. Secondly, I only own skinny jeans. They're my favorite and the most comfortable (to me) but sneakers and skinny jeans? Negative.
So basically, I wear heels everywhere. Even the grocery store. Usually accompanied by skinny jeans. This past weekend was no different as I decided to get a pedicure while waiting on the boyfriend to finish training. I accompanied one of the other fighter's wife to a nail salon near by. The thought crossed my mind about being able to raise up my jeans, but I had done it before and didn't see the need to worry. Forgetting that it was the first time I had worn these particular jeans to get a pedicure.
Once my jeans got halfway up my calf, I felt some pressure, but it was too late. I was already here, OPI color in hand, massage chair kneading, I had to push through and get my jeans up. I was able to pull them to my knees, making a joke that I thought my circulation was being cut off. Toward the end of the pedicure, I did experience some discomfort and tried to adjust accordingly. That was the point that I realized there would be no adjusting at all, my jeans were so tight. I figured I would just have to wait until the nail technician finished so that I could utilize both hands, and not risk messing up her work by making any sudden movements.
I noticed that my leg was starting to turn slightly purple, so I began trying to work it however I could to loosen the death grip my jeans had on me. They weren't budging. I was laughing about it, to disguise my panic, then the nail tech jumped in to helped and she laughed with me, too. Then she gave up. Then I really started to panic. I could feel my face flush and the temperature start to rise. What was I going to do? Cut myself out of my jeans??
My new friend suggested I stand up and try to pull my jeans down. That failed. Then she said, "I'm sure the guys have some scissors at the gym we can use!" to which I responded, "I can't go back to the gym like this!" Could you imagine? I would have died if I had to walk back into the gym with these new death-capris and ask my boyfriend to CUT them off of me. I knew what had to be done. I needed to go into the bathroom and reenact the Friends episode where Ross can't get his leather pants back on and has to use any substance surrounding him. As I was looking around the bathroom for baby powder, lotion, oils, I was shocked to find myself in a salon bathroom with none of the mentioned items! In fact, it looked like a supply room for a pool, but that's neither here nor there.
I knew it was do or die time. I had to manage to pull these suckers down, or risk public humiliation and sacrifice my favorite jeans. I took a deep breath, and prepared for battle. I actually had to take my jeans off, and attempt to use the legs to be able to get them un-stuck. A few minutes, and several expletives later, I got them down to my ankles. I ignored the pain and walked out as if if was never a big deal to begin with (when in reality, I had been having a full-blown meltdown internally). My pedicure was a success, my jeans are still in tact, and I have some of my dignity left.
I wouldn't quite say the pain was worth it. I should've opted for sneakers and sweats that day. Don't worry, the bruising is much better now and the red/purple rings faded after about 12 hours.
So basically, I wear heels everywhere. Even the grocery store. Usually accompanied by skinny jeans. This past weekend was no different as I decided to get a pedicure while waiting on the boyfriend to finish training. I accompanied one of the other fighter's wife to a nail salon near by. The thought crossed my mind about being able to raise up my jeans, but I had done it before and didn't see the need to worry. Forgetting that it was the first time I had worn these particular jeans to get a pedicure.
Once my jeans got halfway up my calf, I felt some pressure, but it was too late. I was already here, OPI color in hand, massage chair kneading, I had to push through and get my jeans up. I was able to pull them to my knees, making a joke that I thought my circulation was being cut off. Toward the end of the pedicure, I did experience some discomfort and tried to adjust accordingly. That was the point that I realized there would be no adjusting at all, my jeans were so tight. I figured I would just have to wait until the nail technician finished so that I could utilize both hands, and not risk messing up her work by making any sudden movements.
I noticed that my leg was starting to turn slightly purple, so I began trying to work it however I could to loosen the death grip my jeans had on me. They weren't budging. I was laughing about it, to disguise my panic, then the nail tech jumped in to helped and she laughed with me, too. Then she gave up. Then I really started to panic. I could feel my face flush and the temperature start to rise. What was I going to do? Cut myself out of my jeans??
My new friend suggested I stand up and try to pull my jeans down. That failed. Then she said, "I'm sure the guys have some scissors at the gym we can use!" to which I responded, "I can't go back to the gym like this!" Could you imagine? I would have died if I had to walk back into the gym with these new death-capris and ask my boyfriend to CUT them off of me. I knew what had to be done. I needed to go into the bathroom and reenact the Friends episode where Ross can't get his leather pants back on and has to use any substance surrounding him. As I was looking around the bathroom for baby powder, lotion, oils, I was shocked to find myself in a salon bathroom with none of the mentioned items! In fact, it looked like a supply room for a pool, but that's neither here nor there.
I knew it was do or die time. I had to manage to pull these suckers down, or risk public humiliation and sacrifice my favorite jeans. I took a deep breath, and prepared for battle. I actually had to take my jeans off, and attempt to use the legs to be able to get them un-stuck. A few minutes, and several expletives later, I got them down to my ankles. I ignored the pain and walked out as if if was never a big deal to begin with (when in reality, I had been having a full-blown meltdown internally). My pedicure was a success, my jeans are still in tact, and I have some of my dignity left.
I wouldn't quite say the pain was worth it. I should've opted for sneakers and sweats that day. Don't worry, the bruising is much better now and the red/purple rings faded after about 12 hours.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)